Thursday, March 24, 2011

Grateful, Thankful, Exhausted

Let me start this with the ending first. I am sick, worn out and exhausted. My sweet baby daughter is peacefully sleeping in her bed and is a healthy little girl. I am thankful and grateful beyond what I can express in words.
These are pics from my phone so they aren't too clear but do you see the bruise and knot on HK's neck? It came out of nowhere Tuesday morning and has had me anxious all week. I don't ever want to be "that parent" who calls the dr office every minute driving them crazy over a bruise. However, this one had me worried so off to the dr we finally went today.
And I'll give you the quick version - what I thought to be a quick in and out appt to say "just a bruise, thanks for your copay" turned into a several hour ordeal that had my sweet girl's health flashing before my eyes. We ended up with 4 drs in our exam room checking her out. They quickly ruled out a bug bite and I wasn't able to tell them of any time she'd gotten hurt. Next thought - leukemia. Remember when you read that I already told you she is healthy!

I knew months ago that low platelets (among other things, inc brusing) can be signs of cancer. I hate cancer. I've seen cancer take too many people I cared about. It terrifies me. A lot. Anyway, the drs chatted and sent us to a part of Northside Hospital for bloodwork and xrays. I knew exactly what they were looking for. Holding your child down while she's screaming during a blood draw is awful. The reality that blood draws and pain are an every day part of a cancer patient's life had me about in tears. The girls both did great, got lots of stickers and some Teddy Grahams then headed home to wait on results.

Thankfully we have a great dr who rushed the results and called me within 2 hours of us leaving the hospital. She said "I didn't want to scare you earlier but we don't see a bruise like that (with platelet issues and no known trauma) and it not be leukemia". But, thank you Lord for my daughter's health and life, her platelets had increased 200 units since we last tested. No cancer, no other red flags and no broken bones. There is no a better outcome we could have had and no better end to my day.

In the past week I've had a stomach bug, my second migraine ever and now some awful head/chest/fever bug. My house looks like a bomb exploded - for real, I am not exaggerating. Jared is going to be working a ton for a week while we have about 7 days to get ready for some things we're about to do. I am stressed, tired, overwhelmed and physically feel awful. However, when we left the dr this afternoon I didn't care about any of that stuff. The reality is there are many parents who don't get the phone call we got. We know of a sweet 9 year old girl just a few miles from us who got the phone call this week that her cancer is back. I've thought so much about what her parents must be feeling after just 3 months of thinking they could start to relax and try to resume their old precancer life. CANCER SUCKS. My family, another family, any family. It just sucks.

Go hug your kids tonight. Every healthy day is a blessing and we are so thankful for another healthy day in our home!
And now, I'm going to bed!

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