We are still here

The Healds are all still here and doing well. So sorry for the lack of blogging, I've gotten many calls and emails in the past couple days with people checking in on us so here's an update. It is nice to know we're loved! Well, at least Matney anyway!

We got back from Texas and jumped back into life in GA. Matney had a really tough time in TX with sleep (not that she is that good at it at home!) and we spent several days working on getting back in the swing of things. Then Monday morning we got up and headed to a dr. appt. I was done and had taken Matney out to feed her when my cell phone rang. One of our best friends was at the same dr at the same time (not planned but we realized it chatting a couple days before) and asked that we run back up. She was there for a routine prenatal appt. to check on her baby and there could be a problem. We raced up back in the building, I threw Matney at someone I didn't know and was blessed enough to be there when she found out the baby had died. He wasn't my baby but a week later I am still sobbing as I write that.

We cried together, met with our dr. and then Matney and I loaded her and her daughter into our car and went to find her husband at work. She delivered Gabe Rice, a perfect baby boy, Monday night. If you know the Rices and haven't done it yet, or even if you don't know them, take a minute to write them a quick note just to love on them. Here is the Rice family blog info. I know that this isn't the typical Heald family upbeat fun blog post but sometimes real life is just really, really hard.

I LOVE that I am home to see every move that Matney makes during the day, to watch her play and learn. And I LOVE that my being a stay-at-home mom allowed me to be there with Jen this week. About 5 years ago God brought together the most wonderful group of women for a Bible Study, you've seen them in pictures all along this blog. We have gone in many different directions but have stayed best friends. We have been through great things and horrible things together and I am thankful to know that Matney will grow up seeing that kind of friendship.

So, the Healds are still here but we have been hurting and loving on our friends and blogging just hasn't been a priority. Poor Matney hasn't had her normal, spontaneous "photo shoot" in the living room all week. I wonder if she will remember what a camera is when I pull it back out! I promise to get pictures taken and up just as soon as our house is clean and Matney has had a couple good naps!

We love you all...thanks for checking on us!


UPDATE - Jen read this post and made a comment which made me think about how hard it is to know what to say and what not to say. As a mom who has lost a baby, anyone who makes a comment (even months or years later) is special. If you are remembering that baby then I promise that mom (and dad) is remembering that baby a hundred times more. So don't worry about what exactly to say, just that you remember is important.

And on that note here are the words to the most incredible song if you've lost a baby. It has comforted my heart so many times. I've posted a link to hear it HERE. Just click on the play button. Angie is a woman who recently lost her own child and she worked with a couple other people to write this song. It will be on the upcoming Selah CD if you are familiar with that band (They are awesome so if you don't know of them go check it out!). Get your tissues ready and if you want to really be blessed by incredible faith, and some good laughs, click on her title and read her blog. May I be a mother who loves like she does!

I Will Carry You

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen Me
To carry you